The Ice Cave Hopper

      Unique in the world, and certainly within its home range of the Coast of Antarctica, the Ice Cave Hopper is classified by most pseudo para-biologists as the last surviving advanced pre-mammalian (or therapsid) synapsid.  As a therapsid it is endothermic; as a creature that has evolved to live in one of the singularly most extreme environments on the planet, it also has a unique sub-cutaneous fat layer and extremely thick skin, with few blood vessels near to the surface.  It is also the only surviving advanced terrestrial life form on Antarctica, other than the penguins,  from the period some 15 million years ago when Antarctica still had tundra and even coastal beech forests. 
       The Ice Cave Hopper spends over 95% of its time in the shelter of its eponymous subterranean environment.  When the Ice Cave Hopper does venture out into the Antarctic open air, it is usually to scavenge the dead and dying from massive penguin colonies.  Rarely does the Ice Cave Hopper risk expending precious energy on actively hunting healthy prey, even of the smaller penguin species.  With sharp bony ridges in place of regular teeth, Troglodytarum-Canis Hyacintho is well adapted to crushing not only the light weight bones of its regular avian food source, but also to extracting all available nutrition from the occasional windfall of much more robust pinniped or even cetacean carcasses on the beaches.
        Averaging two feet in length from its over sized head to the tip of its tail, and approximately 12 inches at the shoulder, the Ice Cave Hopper was described by the Australian adventurer and "rosea elephantem vanis" Harold Rooker as "a Tasmanian devil on valium, but with the hopping ability of a tree kangaroo with arthritis."  Weighing between twelve to fifteen pounds, Troglodytarum-Canis has no known surviving regular predators, other than the occasional leopard seal taking a juvenile that strays too close to the waters edge; however, cubs, which are born live with up to six siblings with approximately one litter every two years, may occasionally fall prey to the feral cats on Macquarie and Marrion Islands off the Antarctic Coast.

The Common Klorr

      The Common Klorr, in some areas of its range known by a literal translation of its Latin species name "the Fetid Swamp Rabbit," is endemic to the swamps of the South Eastern United States: particularly the bayou of Louisiana and Mississippi, as well as the Okefenokee swamp of the Florida Georgia borderlands.  An occasional delicacy for the transplanted Acadians of Nova Scotia & New Brunswick, who may serve it as either "grenouille géante" or "lapin de l'eau," usually in a spicy gumbo dish.  The Common Klorr is omnivorous, hunting large water invertebrates (crayfish, dragonfly larvae, etc.), amphibians and small fish as well as supplementing its diet with water plants and riverbank tubers.  Highly territorial, the Common Klorr maintains multiple underground dens within its territory, often stealing the den sites of river otters, alligators, muskrats and even beaver lodges rather than digging its own into the banks of streams, ponds and lagoons. Indeed, having evolved to fulfill a very similar ecological niche as the River Otter, a Common Klorr's territory and that of a River Otter family invariably do not overlap.  

      A powerful swimmer, the Common Klorr has adapted the hopping locomotion of its distant terrestrial relatives, to its largely aquatic existence.  Endowed with a truly phenomenal immune system, and high physiological tolerance for stress, the Swamp Rabbit has been known to live up to 48 years in ideal conditions; however, rather shorter life spans are far more normal.  Even with a reasonably high mortality rate due to natural and human predation, the Common Klorr is classified as being one of the  Lowest Risk species within the broad category of Pseudo-Para Biology: this is likely due to their prodigious reproduction, with typically three litters of anywhere from two to ten kits each per year.  One area where the Common Klorr has not fared well is in the Florida Everglades where introduced exotic constrictors have all but wiped it out.

Pacific Mordak

     Ask any pseudo para-biologist what the most distinguishing feature of M. Occidentalis is and chances are they will answer the artificial dorsal carapace.  However an ingenuous adaptation as this physiological modification may be, it is still only one of a great many remarkable traits of this unique species.  

     Lacking the protective armour of armadillos, pangolins, echidnas and porcupines, the mordak has adapted its own compulsive behaviours to address the problem of self defence.  The hair on the back of a mordak is naturally longer than elsewhere on its body, and naturally mats.  Likely in an attempt to relieve the discomfort of this matted mane, earlier mordaks developed an obsession with wallowing on their backs in mud (ironically being fastidious in their grooming for their abdomens, limbs, head and short tails), quickly building up a near rock hard clay "shell", which becomes further reinforced by the inclusion of actual pebbles, sticks and even beach glass!  This body modification was so successful as a defence that it quickly became selected for as the various species of mordaks evolved and radiated out from their original range in Central Asia.  Only the critically endangered Paragon Mordak lacks the mud carapace and wallowing behaviour which underlies it.  

     Like all mordaks, the Pacific Mordak is an omnivore, and may be distantly related to the primitive old world insectivores, typified by the hedgehogs.  The latter conclusion is reinforced by the extraordinary lengths that M. Occidentalis will go to, in pursuit of their favourite food: Carithimin Grasshoppers.  Highly social, M. Occidentalis live in colonies of up to two hundred individuals (although colonies of such a size are increasingly rare) near to, or even straddling, flowing fresh water sources.  They can be quite aggressive to any trespassers they deem a threat.  In the wild M. Occidentalis live anywhere from twelve to twenty years, having one litter of four to six kits per female in the late spring.  Pacific Mordaks reach sexual maturity around the age of four. Classified as vulnerable, M. Occidentalis has been known to be tameable, although not to the same extent as its Old World relatives, particularly the more fluvial Thames, German and Siberian species.

Glandemcator Brn Pacificus

The Western most example of the feiarostratae ("Fey Beaked") family of pseudo monotremes, Glandemcator Brn Pacificus exists solely on Gary Oak Acorns, rather limiting its home range from Southeastern Vancouver Island to Southern California.  It is believed to be most prevalent in the Southern Gulf Islands and San Juan Islands at the Northern limit of its range, and from the Central Oregon to Northern California coast, mid way through its original territory.  

Highly adapted to its specialised diet, Glandemcator Brn Pacificus first crushes the acorns using its broad, boney feet and strong beak.  Critically endangered, the very peaceful G. Brn Pacificus lives inside hollow bowls within the lower trunks of its sole food source, a natural defence against its primary natural predators, owls and weasels.  If threatened G. Brn Pacificus' first defence is usually to rapidly bury itself in the earth, while slowing down its breathing and metabolism in an effort to avoid detection, after attempting to mislead predators through a remarkable gift for both mimicry and ventriloquism; however, if discovered it can actively defend itself, throwing acorns, pebbles and small sticks with surprising force and accuracy at the eyes of would be predators.  Since the 19th century domesticated cats, both outdoor pets and feral,  have decimated the already fragile population.  

Males and females of the species can be distinguished by the colours of their cheek patches: those of males are yellow, while females sport blue.  Otherwise, there is no sexual dimorphism within the species.  Pairs tend to bond for life, even if they may live in separate Gary Oak stands and avoid contact for up to four months at a time. The typical female lays 1-4 leathery eggs twice a year, with the young remaining with the female for the first year of their life.  For the second and third years, as adolescents, offspring of both sexes live in close proximity to the father, until finally wandering off to find their own Gary Oak stands at approximately thirty-six months of age.  G. Brn Pacificus is believed to live up to twenty years in the wild.  Sadly, however, no specimen has lived for more than 12 hours in captivity, rather limiting scientific inquiry into this most unique, and exceedingly rare, of Crypto-Imaginarius Occidentalis species.